12 Tips to Get Ahead This Holiday

Maybe you’re at home, maybe you’re in the office, maybe you’re just trying to make it through the holidays this year. Either way, you’ve got two weeks to avoid sabotaging the New Year New You, so here are some tips to get ahead and not behind this holiday:

When you’re working from home:

1. If you’re lacking in holiday spirit and feel the need to spruce up the digs, do so with decorations. Yes, green and red M&Ms are cute, and maybe you’re one of those people who can have them around and not eat them. But it’s unlikely. So buy a nice poinsettia. It’ll give you just what you need to feel festive, without the extra calories.
2. Keep a giant bottle of water at your desk, or table, or couch cushion, or whatever surface you’re working from these days. Drinking water throughout the day should be high-priority year-round, but it’s especially important when holiday sweets are around. It will keep you full, it will satiate your desire to consume, and it’ll make you feel a lot better than the alternative, which is most likely those overly-frosted processed sugar cookies you swore you weren’t going to buy this year.
3. If you just have to bake, make sure you have enough disposable Tupperware on hand to give away some goodies. Your neighbors need some holiday cheer, and you straight up don’t need 3 dozen cookies in the house.
4. When you can’t kick the cravings, sip on some Clearly Caffeine! The sweet watermelon taste (with no calories) will make you feel like you’re indulging in the best Jolly Rancher ever made (watermelon) but you won’t get a cavity! Which is great because after this year no one can afford them.

When you’re in the office:

1. If you’re in the office, just avoid the candy jar. Office candy is gross. It’s stale. It’s just convenient. It’s not worth it, it never will be and holiday chocolate only exists to remind us that sugar makes us feel bad.
2. Work from home on the day of the office potluck. (Are people still having potlucks?) As if you ever wanted to eat lukewarm food cooked in a stranger’s house before, take this opportunity to politely decline. Just blame it on COVID. Your boss will understand. And there’s probably dog hair in most of it. 
3. If your obnoxiously sweet co-worker gives you a bag of holiday treats, re-gift it! Your neighbor’s kid or the next nearest homeless person will enjoy it more than you will, and what your co-worker doesn’t know won’t hurt her. “Thanks, Karen!”
4. Pastries. Why do people think it’s a kind gesture to bring pastries? No one can resist pastries! But YOU can. Because just remember, someone’s going to bring more next week. Because it’s office culture. So you can skip them this time.

When you’re gathering for holiday dinner: (which isn’t highly recommended right now, but if you’re doing it anyway…)

1. Make a list of priorities. You don’t have to, like, write it down in front of your family. But once you see the spread, decide what matters most to you. What will give you the MOST satisfaction with the least amount of stomach ache? Go for that. Prioritize protein, don’t get full on bread, feel good tomorrow.
2. We don’t love limits, but we also don’t love drinking all our carbs. And too many glasses of eggnog (or wine, or hot buttered rum, or sparkling cider) will honestly just make you feel like shit. And we don’t want to feel like shit. So limiting the amount of sugar you drink this holiday is in your best interest.
3. Remember Thanksgiving. You said you weren’t going to overeat (because you say that every year) but then you did and you couldn’t sleep because your stomach hurt. Well, just remember that. Try not to overeat. It’s the easiest way to keep your body and mind from fighting on Christmas.
4. Step away from the kitchen (once you’re done helping your aunt with the dishes. Don’t be a dick.) Just go sit yourself down in the living room, enjoy some time with your loved ones, and call it a night. As long as you don’t get too drunk to drive home, this is what the holidays are for anyway: spending time together.

Oh, and don’t get too drunk to drive home. You’re not as young as you were last Christmas. You probably aren’t as fit, either. And you don't want to accidentally break your presents. 

Either way, enjoy your day, and have a happy holiday from C&K.