=Did they actually know?
Or did you know what you expected, but didn’t make it clear.
A friend of mine runs a window washing company. He couldn’t figure out why “good help” was so hard to find.
“These kids, the next generation, they just don’t get it,” he whined over the phone.
He went on to explain “everytime I go to check on their work, there’s a detail that’s overlooked. For example, they dump the water right in front of the building, which makes us look sloppy…they just don’t care.”
I just asked him one question - did he tell them not to do that?
“Well,” he continued, “they should know, right? Isn’t it common sense?”
He was talking to the right person, because I know the problem. I know the problem because I have this exact same struggle at times!
It’s unclear or uncommunicated expectations.
“Common sense” only exists if people are taught, mentored, communicated with. And if you don’t communicate your expectations, they’ll turn to resentment.
Your homework: What is the last thing you were frustrated with someone about? Did you clearly communicate your expectations about the exact situation? Last time you resented someone, were your expectations clear?
Or, just keep being frustrated. Then at least you have someone else to bitch about who’s not looking back at you in the mirror.