Well, I’ve got to tell you...
It’s too early for this shit.
Shuffling into the kitchen and turning on the coffee pot, I patiently wait the 1 minute our quick brewer takes to drip out a full pot of coffee. Something seems strange as I grab the black handle of the glass carafe. As I lift it off the hot plate I see the problem.
The warm, black liquid of love has been usurped by tepid, slightly polluted water.
Thrust into what I call “a situation,” it’s time to act.
I will get to the bottom of this. Not the bottom of the “coffee” — that shit is going straight down the drain. But the bottom of why the best part of morning has been overtaken by this liquid that shares both the color and drinkability of liquid that replaces nicely tapered stool after eating bad sushi.
How am I supposed to write a motivational email without a proper cup of coffee?
Feeling the back of the brewer, I realize the hot water tank is cold. After turning it on to brew a fresh batch of actual coffee, I look up to see the empty grinder.
Into the pantry to grab a new bag of beans that I need to grind before brewing. I turn the corner and ram my toe into the door jam.
I can’t help but let it out, “AAAAHHHHH!” Then inhaling between my tightly parted lips, “thhhhhh” and the exhale, “hehhhh.”
Good thing I have 9 other toes, because the smallest little piggy on my left foot may never be the same.
Now injured, I hobble back into the kitchen to start the electric burr grinder. The gnashing sound and smell of fresh coffee snaps me out of it.
I remember something my business coach said in one of his books: “someone out there would love to have your ‘bad’ day.”
Yes, coffee “brewed” with cold water looks like diarrhea.
Sure, a stubbed pinky toe hurts.
But those are simple inconveniences. In reality, I’m surrounded by positive things. I have a house with electricity. I have running water and a coffee pot. I have you!
Next time you find yourself in a situation where everything seems to be going wrong, focus on all the positive things in your life.
Your homework this week: What negative things do you tend to focus on? What can you do to turn them into a positive trigger?
And if you’re struggling to find something to be grateful for, you can use this: I somehow managed to write about diarrhea without forcing you to visualize the term “Hershey squirts.” Oh, shit. Sorry about that.