Quick question — do you talk to yourself?
OK you got me. Instead of quick questions, I should have said trick question. Because if you said “no,” you probably didn’t say it aloud to anyone around you. You said it in your head. To yourself. You talked to yourself.
In fact, right now you’re either agreeing with me, or you’re saying “I don’t talk to myself, this Lehr guy’s head is so far up his ass.”
And that’s the point. Not that my head is “so far up my ass,” but that you (and me, and everyone else) are constantly running an internal dialogue.
Which leads to the actual question — what story are you telling yourself?
It takes hearing something as few as 7 times to remember it. Which means every time your internal dialogue is “I’m not good with names,” you’re teaching yourself that lesson. Which will lead to you not really trying to remember names.
Sure, the “power of positive thinking” sounds like a hippie-dippie idea. And just because you tell yourself something doesn’t make it real. But since you’re talking to yourself anyway, you might as well tell a positive story that makes you feel good.
You’re not “bad with names,” you’re “working on getting better” at remembering names.
Instead of telling yourself “it’s really hard for me to lose weight” and “I struggle with self control” which will end in a tornado of self-pity and self-sabotage, tell yourself “I can lose weight” and “I will not eat those cookies on the table.”
Your homework this week: What negative story are you telling yourself? What is one thing that you “wish you were better at?” Everytime you catch yourself telling that negative story, stop, and re-word it into a positive message.
The repetition will lead to better actions as you begin to remember, internalize, and believe the message.
It’s exhausting to be around a Negative Nancy who’s always bitching and feeling sorry for themself. Since the person you spend the most time with is yourself, work on re-phrasing your “cannots” and you’ll see the difference it makes in your life.