Gas Station Cappuccino - Episode 5

Danny Lehr: I give 'em the-

Dean Saddoris: "What are you thinkin', I stole something?"

Danny Lehr: I go crazy horse-eye. I just look over the counter, and I see him looking at me out of the corner of his eye. So, I'm not gonna do this corner-of-eye, corner-of-eye business. I don't have time for that. I just, right here, I snap over, "Hey!" I give him the crazy horse-eye. "Think I stole something? Fuckin' search me!" Right? And then they go-

Dean Saddoris: "No, I didn't."

Danny Lehr: "No, I didn't."

Welcome to Gas Station Cappuccino by Caffeine and Kilos, episode-

Dean Saddoris: Number 'co.

Danny Lehr: ... number five, cinco. I am Danny Lehr.

Dean Saddoris: This is Dean Saddoris.

Danny Lehr: Dean Saddoris, Danny Lehr, Caffeine and Kilos, here we are, episode five. Last episode, there were a few things we wanted to get into, didn't get around to. One thing was midnight releases. So, when Caffeine and Kilos releases a new product, at least recently, we've been doing a midnight release.

Dean Saddoris: For like, what, the last six months, you'd say?

Danny Lehr: Yeah, I'd say last six months. Midnight release. So, Dean, you wanted to touch on that a little bit 'cause every now and then, some people get it, they ... no problem, whatever, it is what it is. Every now and then, we get a direct message, and someone's kinda got their panties in a bunch.

Dean Saddoris: Yeah, they get a little butt-hurt.

Danny Lehr: Perturbed.

Dean Saddoris: Yeah. They get a little upset.

Danny Lehr: Is it peturbed or perturbed?

Dean Saddoris: I don't know, to be honest with you.

Danny Lehr: Aaron, is it peturbed or perturbed?

Aaron: I think it's peterub.

Danny Lehr: What?

Aaron: Peterb.

Danny Lehr: Yeah, that's right.

Aaron: I don't fuckin' know.

Danny Lehr: If you're an English major, and you know if it's peterb ... We should ask Jeff. He would know.

Dean Saddoris: Oh, Alaska Jeff.

Danny Lehr: Yeah, Alaska-

Dean Saddoris: Jeff in Alaska. The me real.

Danny Lehr: The Mediocre Alaskan. You gotta listen to the Mediocre Alaskan podcast. So, Jeff, let us know. Email podcast@caffeineandkilos.com. Let us know, perturbed, or I think it was perturbed. Anyway, panties in a bunch.

Dean Saddoris: Perturbed. Yeah, so I mean, the reason why we do it, honestly, is so everybody all over the world has a chance to get stuff that's new. You know, at the end of the day, staying up till midnight to get something is not necessarily, like ... It's not that late. And 3:00 AM for east coast, that's a little different, but at the end of the day, somebody's gonna get the weird end of the stick on this, but everybody overseas that really likes the brand too, they need a fair shot at getting it as well. So, there's only so much we can do. We can just do it at different times, so we figured 12:00 would be fair for the majority of people.

Danny Lehr: And look, I get up at 5:00 AM, so if I lived on the east coast, that's only two hours later. We're right there.

Dean Saddoris: And also, you'd still have a pretty good chance if you got up-

Danny Lehr: That's what I'm saying.

Dean Saddoris: ... early in the morning to get exactly ... Yeah. But, yeah, I mean, what would you say? Most of the stuff that we do release, the limited stuff, it sells out probably entirely by, what, like, 6:00 AM our time?

Danny Lehr: At 7:00 or so, seven hours.

Dean Saddoris: 7:00 AM, our time.

Danny Lehr: So, yeah, previously, we've done, like, a 9:00 AM, but then 9:00 AM, that's noon east coast, and that's kinda a weird thing. Then we do, like, a 7:00 AM. We're talking 7:00 Pacific, 10:00, but then you get people who ... anyway, bottom line is, there's no ... Someone's gonna complain no matter what. So, we just kinda figure midnight, if anything, is kinda an even playing field.

Dean Saddoris: Yeah, it's even playing field. It's also as soon as the day starts for the release day, for us. So, we're going by our time zone, which is, it's Thursday at 12:00 PST for us, so that's when it goes live. That's kind of, like, the main idea behind it.

Danny Lehr: There it is.

Dean Saddoris: Plus the factor that it hits a lot of people at a good time.

Danny Lehr: Oh, that reminds me, time zone and stuff. Dean, I can't believe I haven't told you this yet today. Happy winter solstice.

Dean Saddoris: Oh, that is ... Is that today?

Danny Lehr: That's today, shortest day of the year.

Dean Saddoris: Yeah, so it'll be dark by, what?

Danny Lehr: I have no idea.

Dean Saddoris: Like, actual time-wise, it's the shortest day of the year? Or is it, like, daylight?

Danny Lehr: I think it's daylight. Same time, the days are the same length every ... So, it's daylight.

Dean Saddoris: Yeah, are they?

Danny Lehr: Yeah, man. Yeah. 24 hours.

Dean Saddoris: That's just a ... But time is kinda just more just, like, a made-up thing.

Danny Lehr: What, you're gonna get into flat Earth theory with me now?

Dean Saddoris: I'm just saying.

Danny Lehr: Are you saying? Explain.

Dean Saddoris: Well, time is just ... It's an idea.

Danny Lehr: Yeah, it's an ... Okay.

Dean Saddoris: That's pretty much ... I mean, I don't wanna go too deep into it, but it's just an idea.

Danny Lehr: I would like you to go too deep into it.

Dean Saddoris: At the end of the day, it's like, okay, is it dark out, or is it light out? That's kinda how I base my-

Danny Lehr: Street lights on? Don't need to go home.

Dean Saddoris: Yeah.

Danny Lehr: Like you're out playing at the park.

Dean Saddoris: Obviously, I go by real time, but it's just kinda funny when you think about it, how we're just followed by these little, tiny rules in society, like time and hours-

Danny Lehr: I'm pretty sure it's based off of the solar cycle.

Dean Saddoris: Yeah, which is always changing.

Danny Lehr: Okay. But then, you know what though? Then you got leap year. What is that?

Dean Saddoris: A made-up thing.

Danny Lehr: The fuck is that? The other day, I was actually telling someone 'cause the time change pissed me off, fall back, spring forward. Can't we just leave the fuckin' clocks, you know what I mean? They're doing something; just undo it.

Dean Saddoris: But then they always do it. It's always just changing. It's not always the same. So, who's dictating when we're gonna do these time changes?

Danny Lehr: Farmers Almanac, obviously.

Dean Saddoris: Well, that's true. But it's like-

Danny Lehr: You know, back in the day, they thought it was the Mayan calendar. Now, we go off the Farmers ... What's gonna happen is, some-

Dean Saddoris: "Go to your local hardware store, and buy the Farmers Almanac, 2017."

Danny Lehr: ... Someone 500 years from now is gonna say that the world ending, according to the 1976 Farmers Almanac, just like the Mayan calendar.

Dean Saddoris: That little tan book.

Danny Lehr: Yeah, little tan, oh yeah, that's it. Well, so here's the thing about daylight savings is, I was like, I told someone, I said, "You know what, I'm just done with this shit. I'm moving to Arizona 'cause they don't do it. They don't do daylight savings."

Dean Saddoris: Which is funny 'cause it's a state decision.

Danny Lehr: Yeah. And I said, "Okay, you know what, I'm so sick of this, this whole daylight savings. I'm just gonna go to Arizona and not have to deal with it." And then I realized-

Dean Saddoris: You'd have to be really fed up with it to make that kind of decision.

Danny Lehr: Well, then I realized, except for every time I talk to somebody from a different state, it would actually be worse because they-

Dean Saddoris: 'Cause they wouldn't be able to relate.

Danny Lehr: Say you're Mountain time, right now, if you're Mountain time, east coast is two hours ahead of you, Pacific is one hour ... But then, during daylight savings, they adjust, and you don't, then that would change. See, since we do daylight savings in PST, we always know east coast is three hours ahead, and then Central, Mountain time, etc. We know those things, and when the time changes, those are still true. Could you imagine how terrible it'd be if, for half the year, everybody else in the country ... Like, your entire time zones are different.

Dean Saddoris: Yeah, that's weird.

Danny Lehr: That makes it worse.

Dean Saddoris: Yeah, it does.

Danny Lehr: So, fuck that. I'm not moving to Arizona because daylight savings. I went full circle.

Dean Saddoris: I do appreciate them taking a stand against something so stupid.

Danny Lehr: No, it's true. Anybody who's like, "You know what, draw the line. I'm putting my foot in the sand here, line in the sand, putting my foot down."

Dean Saddoris: You don't have to make up some BS reason for me to set my clock back so I lose or gain an hour of sleep because that's ridiculous.

Danny Lehr: He just goes, straight up, he goes, "Not doing it."

Dean Saddoris: "You know what, I think I'm gonna pass." That's what Arizona said one day. He woke up, and he was like, "You know what guys, the phoenix is rising regardless, so I'm gonna call it. I'm gonna call this. I'm gonna put my foot in the sand here. Draw a line in the sand."

Danny Lehr: "I know you said fall back, so we're supposed to put the clocks back. But I gotta tell you what, phoenix is rising-"

Dean Saddoris: Phoenix is rising regardless.

Danny Lehr: "... no matter what your clock says."

Dean Saddoris: If I lived in Arizona, I would say that every chance possible. "Well, you know, phoenix is rising regardless."

Danny Lehr: Phoenix is rising, so I mean, it's not a whole lot ... It's like, winter is coming. Well, phoenix is rising.

Dean Saddoris: You know what they say, phoenix is rising.

Danny Lehr: And then just someone looks at you and say, "The phoenix has risen, indeed," like Catholics' ceremony.

Dean Saddoris: You know what would start to happen, though? Honestly, total social experiment, is that everybody-

Danny Lehr: People would start doing it.

Dean Saddoris: Oh no, they would just agree with you because they would feel, like, embarrassed not to know what you're talking about because they live in Arizona. They'd be like, "Oh, yeah, I'm ... For sure."

Danny Lehr: Everybody knows phoenix is rising.

Dean Saddoris: Oh yeah, of course.

Danny Lehr: You know what it is, it's like when you're talking to someone, they go to leave, "All right, shake 'em!" What do people do every time?

Dean Saddoris: Oh, they'll just be like, "Oh, yeah-"

Danny Lehr: "Oh yeah, that sounds good." They have no-

Dean Saddoris: They wanna be in on the inside.

Danny Lehr: But they have no idea. They just go, "That must be how that guy says goodbye. He says 'shake 'em'." And they just don't even ... doesn't even phase 'em. Not one single time has any ... Well, probably close to a thousand times now, I've said to someone, "See you later," "All right, man, shake 'em!" And they just ... That's it. Not once, not once has somebody said, "What the fuck did you just say?"

Dean Saddoris: "Wait, what?"

Danny Lehr: "Did you say ... Excuse me."

Dean Saddoris: "Did you just say 'shake 'em'?"

Danny Lehr: "Did you say, shake what? Sir, what would you prefer me to shake?" Never.

Dean Saddoris: So, for the last-

Danny Lehr: Four years of my life.

Dean Saddoris: ... I would say ... Well, no, this is different. For like the last three, four months or so, every day when I leave Caffeine and Kilos headquarters, to Austin, if he's here, I say, "All right, man. Stay loose." Every day, every day, and he doesn't even question it.

Danny Lehr: What does he say?

Dean Saddoris: He just rolls with it, "All right, see you later."

Danny Lehr: Well, it's like the, "See you tomorrow."

Dean Saddoris: Yeah, I just say, "Stay loose." I'll even forget, and then I'll pull back the truck, drive back up to the door, and I'll be like, "Hey, Austin, stay loose," and then I'll leave, or I'll pull back out. Ask him, swear to God.

Danny Lehr: Like Aaron and I say, "See you tomorrow," even if we're not. At a booth one year, it was actually the last year, everyone comes by, and they're talking. They'll look at a shirt, they'll look at another one, they're looking-

Dean Saddoris: And they're just afraid to just not buy something. It's okay.

Danny Lehr: It's okay to not buy something.

Dean Saddoris: Yeah, you don't have to buy it.

Danny Lehr: But they don't wanna be like, "Oh, I don't want anything." They're like, "You know what, I'll be back tomorrow." "All right, sounds good. See you tomorrow," right?

Dean Saddoris: "Oh, shit."

Danny Lehr: That's it. That's the whole-

Dean Saddoris: "All right, I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Danny Lehr: "All right, yeah, sounds good." So, then we're laughing, why don't they just, like, "All right." They don't have to say anything. They could just turn around and leave, or they could be like, "You know, I don't really want anything," or, "Not today," or whatever. Honestly, they can say anything. "I don't like it." That's okay. It's okay not to like things.

Dean Saddoris: I love the classic-

Danny Lehr: "I'll be back ... Oh, I'll be back." "Oh yeah, sounds good!"

Dean Saddoris: I love the classic, "I forgot my ... I didn't bring my wallet."

Danny Lehr: "I didn't bring my wallet."

Dean Saddoris: Okay, so you're telling me that you came to this event and just left your wallet, where? At the hotel?

Danny Lehr: In the car.

Dean Saddoris: In the car?

Danny Lehr: In downtown.

Dean Saddoris: Is that what's going on? Or you just don't ... I mean, I'm confused.

Danny Lehr: I think that the lesson here-

Dean Saddoris: You don't have to buy anything.

Danny Lehr: I think the lesson here is, why don't you just say you don't wanna buy anything? That's actually a challenge.

Dean Saddoris: Yeah, just go, "I didn't really see anything I like." Oh, that's cool too.

Danny Lehr: Yeah, no worries.

Dean Saddoris: See you later. See you tomorrow.

Danny Lehr: See you tomorrow.

Dean Saddoris: Well, same stuff here.

Danny Lehr: That's like a challenge. We should do a challenge, Gas Station Cappuccino challenge, where you walk in a store, and when you're ready to go, if you don't want anything, instead of just ... Maybe make a point, you say something, you actually say, "You know, I don't really see anything I liked. Have a nice day." That's it. Is that so fuckin' hard? But people get super weird about that.

Dean Saddoris: Well, with like ... What is the guy gonna ask you? They usually don't ask you anything when you're leaving, like a liquor store, if you don't buy anything. Then they say, "See you later." You just say, "See you."

Danny Lehr: Do you ever look at something, and then put it back on the shelf, and leave, and then wonder if the person behind the counter is wondering if you stole something?

Dean Saddoris: I feel like that's pretty common. I feel like probably everybody probably thinks that, in their head, like, the guy probably thinks that they did something wrong. Regardless of what you look like or what you actually did, I feel like that there's always that little bit of, like, "I hope this guy doesn't think I stole something."

Danny Lehr: You know what I do? I actually go preemptive strike. On my way out, I just look at him and say, "And fuckin' search me, dog, I didn't steal shit."

Dean Saddoris: Total paranoid.

Danny Lehr: Straight up. I give 'em the-

Dean Saddoris: "What are you thinkin', I stole something?"

Danny Lehr: I go crazy horse-eye. I just look over the counter, and I see him looking at me out of the corner of his eye. So, I'm not gonna do this corner-of-eye, corner-of-eye business. I don't have time for that. I just, right here, I snap over, "Hey!" I give him the crazy horse-eye. "Think I stole something? Fuckin' search me!" Right? And then they go-

Dean Saddoris: "No, I didn't."

Danny Lehr: "No, I didn't." I go, "Yeah, that's right." And then I leave. And I say, "Hey, hey!"

Dean Saddoris: And you eat the Snickers that you stole in your pocket.

Danny Lehr: "Have a nice day. See you tomorrow."

Dean Saddoris: "See you tomorrow."

Danny Lehr: "I'll be back for this," and then I leave.

Dean Saddoris: "You know what, on second ... I don't want that Snickers today. I'm gonna come back and get it tomorrow."

Danny Lehr: No, I don't think anybody has ever picked up a Snickers and said, "I'll be back for this tomorrow." It's like this: You either say, "I'm not eating this," or you're like, "Yeah, I'm buying that and eating it." I don't think anyone's ever ... There is no delayed gratification for a Snickers bar.

Dean Saddoris: No. You ever walk into a store, like a Target or liquor store, whatever it is, with your hands in your pocket, like, sweatshirt pocket?

Danny Lehr: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Dean Saddoris: And then do you have this, like, internal conflict? Like, "Do I take my hands out of my sweatshirt, or do I leave them in there the whole time, so they know that I'm not, like, putting things or hiding anything in my sweatshirt?" Do you ever have that thought?

Danny Lehr: Well, the problem is, though, if you take your hands out, or if you don't take your hands out of your sweatshirt, how do you put things in?

Dean Saddoris: Well, I'm saying, if you're not gonna steal anything.

Danny Lehr: Oh, if you're ... Oh, you didn't preface, if we're not stealing something. Right.

Dean Saddoris: Yeah, that would just be too humiliating.

Danny Lehr: Yeah, okay.

Dean Saddoris: You shouldn't be stealing anything.

Danny Lehr: Yeah, no, stealing is bad.